Fun Chess – variation on traditional chess

November 10th, 2007

Fun Chess is very similar to traditional chess, except it is more like Mortal Combat.

1) In this variation of chess, each piece has a point value, and you collect those points each time you take an opponent’s piece.
(Pawn: 1 pt, Rook: 2pt, Knight: 3pt, Bishop: 4pt, Queen: 5pt, King: 1mil. pt)

2) Each piece has its own power-move (fatality) associated with it.

3) During your turn you may spend points to perform a power-move.

That’s it.

The Fun Chess Power Moves:
PAWN: may attack one square farther than normal (ie. may attack 2 diagonal squares away)

ROOK: Teleportation. If at an edge of the board, may attack the square on the opposite edge.

KNIGHT: may attack in a larger L-shape than normal (ie. move 3 spaces up and 2 over)

BISHOP: Ricochet. When clear of obstructions, may bounce off the edge of the board (like Breakout) and keep going.

QUEEN: she may perform the special moves of the other pieces.

Fun Chess has not actually been played yet, so I don’t know how balanced the special moves are. But since regular chess is inherently balanced, Fun chess should be just as fair. I guess the question is really if Fun Chess is fun or if it sucks.

Other thoughts: maybe add an extra defensive turn to the game where during an attack the defender could choose to spend points to move/defend themselves.

update 01/09: new thoughts on this post: kind of funny. The obvious joke here is that regular chess isn’t fun. More broadly, it’s a criticism of our culture’s desire for more EXCITING stuff. As if EXCITING stuff is better than all other kind of stuff. No duh. Of course it is. But in the end the best ideas aren’t burdened with the subtext of social critique, which is an extremely boring pastime. Wait, that was just a critique of critique.

Crematorium Power Plant

November 4th, 2007

Dead people. Please. I’m tired of hearing about them. Day in and day out it’s always the same: he’s dead, she’s dead, 50 just died over here. I get it. They’re dead. Let’s just get rid of those gross corpses.

Here’s an idea: create centralized crematoriums outside all major metropolitan areas. Outfit each facility with a steam-generator to turn the burning-corpse energy into clean, renewable energy. It could be called the gray revolution.

Dead people are an untapped resource that the average person’s moral obligations prevent them from noticing. There is no real demand for dead people, but an unlimited supply. Like Ford cars.

Filed under: Amoral Energy Generation

updated 01/09: new thoughts on this: awesome idea. Trying too hard to be funny, and failing, but I was just thinking about this the other day. If you’re goin’ up in a ball of fire, why not boil some water and turn a turbine while you’re at it, you selfish jerk?