Broken mirrors and the rules of bad luck
(Notes from Tuesday’s subway ride)
Breaking a mirror gets you 7 years of bad luck. Got it.
But what if you break the same mirror into many pieces? Does that multiply the bad luck? If I break one mirror into 3 pieces is that 3×7 (21 by my estimation) years of bad luck? Or do you not count multiple breaks occurring in a single breaking incident?
What about this: I break 2 mirrors, lets say one today and one tomorrow. Is that 14 years of bad luck or 7 years of really bad luck?
And this: you’re carrying a mirror and trip over someone’s boot. Do you get to share the bad luck with the owner of the boot? 3 1/2 for you and 3 1/2 for them? Then again, you’re the one who dropped it, sucker.
Not all mirrors are created equal are they? Some have got to be more durable than others. What if a feeble old lady walks along, drops a mirror, and sends it shattering into a million pieces? Would she drop dead on the spot from 10 million years of instant bad luck?
Let’s say you were flying a F-15 fighter jet and bombed a mirror factory. Would the rest of your life, so impossibly crammed with bad luck, be plagued by totally improbable events? Your luck is so bad there is not enough time in a day to experience ordinary bad luck, so crazy stuff would happen to you like every time you lifted your hand you’d poke your self in the eye.
Who makes the rules and who enforces them? Or does nature keep tabs? Is there a bad luck fairy? There’s probably so much bad luck to keep track of and dole out you’d need specialists. Like one guy who keeps tabs on people walking under ladders and opening umbrellas indoors.
And how do you tell the difference between bad luck and just shit that happens?
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
Loading ...Announcement: added rating system for posts
I was going to go back to school and learn php, html, css, mysql, ajax, and javascript and get a computer science degree so I could build a rating system for this site. Then I googled for “rating system wordpress plugin”, so now I don’t have to.
The 5 stars are Netflix style. Please rate the posts on how awesome you think the idea is. 1 star being “utterly asinine”, unless you love stupid things and in that case you might want to go with 5 stars.
So rate the idea on your subjective positive/negative response, rather than a pseudo-objective judgement on the novelty of the idea as compared to all other ideas throughout history.
The WP-PostRatings plugin is developed by Lester Chan.
(2 votes, average: 4 out of 5) Loading ...If you aren’t that sick, maybe it’s just a semacode
Print out the image below and then put it everywere. That way any nerd with a semacode reading cell phone can discover this awesome website.
If you’re interested in making your own (I don’t know why if you’ve already got mine) you can do it at the official Semacode page, or at Kaywa.
(1 votes, average: 3 out of 5) Loading ...Fun Chess - variation of traditional chess
Fun Chess is very similar to traditional chess, except it is more like Mortal Combat.
1) In this variation of chess, each piece has a point value, and you collect those points each time you take an opponent’s piece.
(Pawn: 1 pt, Rook: 2pt, Knight: 3pt, Bishop: 4pt, Queen: 5pt, King: 1mil. pt)
2) Each piece has its own power-move (fatality) associated with it.
3) During your turn you may spend points to perform a power-move.
That’s it.
The Fun Chess Power Moves:
PAWN: may attack one square farther than normal (ie. may attack 2 diagonal squares away)
ROOK: Teleportation. If at an edge of the board, may attack the square on the opposite edge.
KNIGHT: may attack in a larger L-shape than normal (ie. move 3 spaces up and 2 over)
BISHOP: Ricochet. When clear of obstructions, may bounce off the edge of the board (like Breakout) and keep going.
QUEEN: she may perform the special moves of the other pieces.
Fun Chess has not actually been played yet, so I don’t know how balanced the special moves are. But since regular chess is inherently balanced, Fun chess should be just as fair. I guess the question is really if Fun Chess is fun or if it sucks.
Other thoughts: maybe add an extra defensive turn to the game where during an attack the defender could choose to spend points to move/defend themselves.
(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5) Loading ...Crematorium Power Plant
Dead people. Please. I’m tired of hearing about them. Day in and day out it’s always the same: he’s dead, she’s dead, 50 just died over here. I get it. They’re dead. Let’s just get rid of those gross corpses.
Here’s an idea: create centralized crematoriums outside all major metropolitan areas. Outfit each facility with a steam-generator to turn the burning-corpse energy into clean, renewable energy. It could be called the gray revolution.
Dead people are an untapped resource that the average person’s moral obligations prevent them from noticing. There is no real demand for dead people, but an unlimited supply. Like Ford cars.
Filed under: Amoral Energy Generation
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...New Blog: written by Larry David’s left arm
I was riding the subway the other day, and this question pops into my head: “What if Larry David’s left arm had its own blog?”
What would it talk about? Does it like Larry? Does it think he’s a funny guy? Maybe not! Maybe it has a beef with Larry, and feels neglected like so many left arms.
It could tell funny behind-the-scenes anecdotes from the set of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Maybe how it has a crush on another star’s arm. Maybe it’s got taxi-driver type tidbits of wisdom. You know, real stuff from the streets. Maybe it’s a closet homosexual, and it confesses it to the world in a blog post. Maybe it has embarrassing taste in pop-music. Maybe it feels that Britney Spears was unfairly ridiculed for her lackluster performance on the MTV music awards.
Who can really say what Larry David’s left arm thinks about?
(1 votes, average: 3 out of 5) Loading ...Steal My Ideas written about in a NEWSPAPER
Frank Sennett, columnist and blogger, for the Spokesman-Review in Spokane Washington, wrote about a bunch of idea blogs. I’m not sure what a blog is, and he doesn’t explain it in the article, but it’s still a decent read.
It’s fairly obvious after reading the article that Steal My Ideas (this one, not the stolen one) is his favorite.
Here’s the article.
He lists other idea blogs as well.
I almost forgot: this was published July 2.
(Rate it!) Loading ...My dream stole my idea!
After writing about the combo sugar/cream packet idea, I started feeling a little paranoid that maybe it already exists. I make it a point not to do any research, so I still don’t actually know. Besides, I’m not going to the library to find out what’s real or not.
Then, last night someone in my dream was using a sugar/cream packet, and I felt really dumb for proposing an invention without doing any research first. Now that I’m awake I feel dumb for feeling dumb.
(Rate it!) Loading ...Invention: Sugar/Cream Sugar Packet
Imagine: sugar granules.
Now imagine: granules of dehydrated cream.
Really push the envelope here: sugar granules and dehydrated cream granules inside a single packet.
Note:
Dehydrated cream granules may need to be invented for this invention to work.
(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5) Loading ...Meat Shaker
Goes great on everything.
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...Jesus Week - thank god that’s over.
Ok. I’ll be the first to admit that a lot of my ideas are kind of awesome.
Which reminds me about the Jesus painting: I’m not going to say what it’s all about. Sorry. Every time an idea is revealed it takes some of the magic away; some of the initial spark and fire - the potential. And I lose at least a half dozen brains cells each time I do it. This time I’m just going to keep it to myself. Savor the moment. The secret. And you will suffer, eternally, hopefully, until I actually paint the painting, which could be any time, or never ever.
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...Bristled scrubber and rubber gloves for bathroom
Need to get these. I think there’s black mold growing on the shower curtain.
(Rate it!) Loading ...Jesus Week - Day 3
Jesus Christ, the week flew by.
Here’s the last sketch of the Jesus painting you’re meant to figure out the true meaning of based on the sketches (see Jesus Week - Day 1 for details).
JHC - sketch 3
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...Jesus Week - Day 2
Sweet Jesus - it’s time for more Jesus sketches. Remember, you have to figure out exactly what this idea is about. Whoever figures it out first will get a prize. Technically, I figured it out already, so I get the prize. But, you should still give it a try.
Sketch 2 (I did this one)
(bonus sketch - pile of hungry heads)
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...Jesus Week - Day 1
Welcome to Jesus week. As with everything else on this blog, Jesus week is all about me. Also, Jesus week is only 3 days long and includes a 2 day weekend.
I’ve created a new category called PAINTINGS. I’ve got an idea for a painting about Jesus. I’m not going to say what the idea actually is, but for the next 3 days I’m going to post a variety of sketches of the idea, and you’ll just have to figure it out.
Jesus painting - sketch 1 (original drawing by I don’t know who)
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...